Ladies... I'm concerned. I understand the enjoyment of having a nice tan, and I myself feel prettier when I'm browner. However, many of you have taken it too far and go tanning WAY too much. Let me tell you a non-secret... tan or brown is cute... orange is NOT. You look like oompa loompas when you go tanning too much, and your skin looks so leathery, it looks like your skin is 15 years older than you are.
As women, we are regularly given reasons to feel insecure... not feeling pretty enough, skinny enough, tan enough, etc. But don't choose death by tanning to feel prettier, because 1) It just shows you're insecure, 2) It's an unhealthy addiction, 3) Everyone is prettier when they are NOT orange.
I don't want to sound a like a hypocrite, because I will admit I go tanning every now and then. But by every now and then, I mean 1-4 times a YEAR. I know girls that go 1-7 times a WEEK. That is insane!
I know plenty of women with fair skin that are gorgeous, and women of all colors are beautiful, but orange is not a natural color for a human being. Please stop destroying your body, and see yourself for the beautiful woman you are without the orange, leather skin. Thank you.
I understand that my Bachelor of Arts is in a random field (Gender Studies), but I am trying to figure out why any BA is practically useless in terms of all the jobs I find posted. It seems like every single job I look at either ONLY requires a High School Diploma, or a Master's Degree! So, someone please tell me... What is the purpose of earning a Bachelor's Degree? To get stuck at a job that makes less than $30K a year, unless you know someone? To top it off, please tell me... WHY, even when I apply to jobs that only require High School Diplomas... am I STILL not getting calls back for interviews?! Unfortunately, it appears the job market is terrible for everyone, and every job posting is heavily answered, and probably only half of the responses are checked by employers, if that. The few jobs that require "only a BA" are being filled by people with Master's Degrees that also can't find work. I want to get a Master's eventually, but it is hard to do when I'm regularly so broke, and the thought of putting myself more in debt for a job that will still not make much money (nonprofit/public policy) does not sound amazing. I am also terribly frustrated that so many nonprofit jobs require either being bilingual or having a car. Bilingual? Ok, understandable if you have a large Spanish-speaking population which you are serving. But requiring a car when you don't need to transport anyone other than yourself? COME ON. This city has public transporation for a reason, and it pisses me off so many jobs require that you own a car when it's irrelevant to the position. How am I supposed to own a car when I make so little money?! How am I supposed to buy a car when I can't find a new job that pays me enough to do so?Sometimes I wonder... were the only purposes of going to undergrad college to party, make friends, waste money, and take a bunch of useless classes purely just as a prerequisite to grad school? This Bachelor of Arts seems to mean nothing.
I remember I used to always think it was bull when people said, "When you find 'the one,' you'll know." It just seemed too simple, and what in life is actually simple?! My cynical self used to retaliate with, "Well, if there's a 'one' out there, and for some tragic reason you lose them, does that mean you're destined to never find love again?" I used to also argue that it just seemed too simplistic, and that love and relationships are more complicated than that, and who's to say sometimes love doesn't take time and energy to develop?
For how young I am, I've had a variety of bad relationship experiences, which is probably why I used to be so cynical. I've been cheated on, betrayed, lied to, psychologically abused, and just flat out hurt. Sometimes it's not even something "so bad," but instead someone just didn't love me back enough or give to me near what I gave to them. In those relationships where I felt like I loved the other person more than they loved me, I just always hoped one day we would be on the same level, and it hurt that it wasn't. I told myself I wasn't a needy person, so I could handle not getting as much love, time, and attention from someone as I gave to them.
I was dumb, and selling myself short. I believe I have found the ONE now, and I finally see what people are talking about when they say, "You'll just know." This relationship is very uncomplicated, but never boring. I haven't been with my boyfriend that long, but I know he's the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. In the past, I said I wanted a future with this person or that person, but I could never actual envision it, and it never really seemed as appealing as it should have. But with this love, I feel like I am with my best friend, my soul's counterpart, and the male version of me. If I got tired of him, it would be like getting tired of myself! I have never been so happy or so in love, and equally loved by my partner.
So how do you "just know" when you've found the one? Well, for me, here are some of the reasons:- I see something amazing in his eyes I've never seen in anyone else's, and I feel like they were made for me. Hey, the eyes are the key to the soul, right?
- I don't have doubts or questions, or a bunch of insecurities about how he feels about me, how I feel for him, or what will happen to us.
- When I think about a future with him, nothing seems scary or questionable.
- When he tells me he will love me for the rest of his life, I believe him.
- When I say I will love him the rest of my life, I know it's true.
- We accept each other completely for who we are, and are extremely comfortable around each other. I never have to feel insecure about him not liking one of my traits!
- I light up and have a giant stupid smile anytime I think or talk about him.
- We see the world in the same way, share the same values, and sometimes I feel like he practically reads my thoughts cause he says what I'm thinking!
- Things have fallen to place so well without us trying to force it along.
- Our feelings are mutual... no unbalance of how much attention and love we give to each other.
I know this post may seem super sappy, but it has been really important to me having all those not-so-great relationship experiences that taught me so much about what I DIDN'T want, then finding something that is just SO RIGHT. And as much as I try to explain this love, it still doesn't compare to what I feel! I'm a lucky woman! :)
I just finished watching the movie "Precious." Though a very intriguing and sad story, I hate to admit that it did not make me extremely emotional. Sadly, I've read several case files of abused and neglected children that could easily end up in a similar situation and have experienced a similar past. Child abuse and neglect is far too common and often goes unreported or children fall into the system that can't always help them.
No joke, you never know who you can trust. Most children who have been molested have been molested by a family member or someone assumed trustworthy by the family. I am a feminist and wholeheartedly believe in the CHOICE to stay at home OR work for a living, and I DO want to work for a living, but I can easily see myself as a stay at home mom for a few years because I don't trust people. I also intend to teach my kids general concepts about sex as soon as they understand language. Typically in molestation cases, the children sense it is wrong but don't necessarily know how so, and also may assume it must be their fault. Also, the perpetrator often threatens the life of the child and/or their family if they talk. I sure as hell want my kids to know what is NOT okay for anyone to do for them, and God forbid it did happen, they tell me ASAP so I could bring the perpetrator to justice and prevent them from victimizing others. I did like that the movie reflected the potential for a positive outlook despite a dreary history. I'm glad there is a good and popular movie to raise awareness of the broken homes filled with child abuse and neglect.
This link serves as a great source if you want to learn more:
http://www.darkness2light.org/knowabout/statistics_2.asp
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've known for a while that I suck a lot at saving money. I feel that in many respects, I am mature for my age, but nowhere reflects my 24-year old being than my financial assets, or lack thereof. A part of it is because it was not a value really taught in my family, and I'm not sure if anyone in my direct family is that financially responsible (no offense, fam) and was able to set a good example.
I think the second key ingredient to my lack of financial responsibility is that I am so into the here and now, and don't think enough about the future, or the possibility of a rainy day. Perhaps it's because I've always had the morbid mindset that I could die any moment, so while I'm here, I might as well use the money I currently have to buy cute clothes and shoes and go on charming little vacations to other places. It is not a completely unreasonable logic... What if I had $500,000 in savings right now (bwuahaha), but died tomorrow, and had no great traveling experiences to speak of?? That would just suck. I probably need to eventually find a happy medium, cause I do think it IS good to live in the here and now, but it's not great to be inconsiderate of my future self.
It definitely doesn't help that I live in an expensive city, and live by myself in a pricey neighborhood. I am not big into brands when it comes to fashion, but I have fashion ADD and my style is ever-changing, so I feel like my wardrobe needs to as well. I have this horrible food and Yelp addiction that leads me to want to try every restaurant, and eating out often gets expensive!!! I like STUFF, and I like EVENTS, and I like FRIENDS, so I go out more often now as well.
Hopefully I will financially grow up very soon. Don't bother to give me advice... I have a Mint.com account; I just don't use it. I keep track of my bank account... But hey, at least I pay my rent and bills on time, I have good credit (just no savings), and I RECOGNIZE I have a problem. That's the first step, right???
Life is what you make of it. I am fully aware that I haven't had the best luck throughout life, but that doesn't mean I haven't overall had a good life. I have stories for days, and I'm not sure anybody could really call me boring, if they were to classify me as anything. You wouldn't be able to recognize the good without the bad, and I believe you learn more from your bad experiences. You learn strength and perseverance, and often, you learn more about yourself, as long as you are open to the lesson.
I have a couple interesting books currently in my possession: "Only Love is Real" by Brian Weiss, M.D. (thanks, Alice!), and "Enough, Damnit! A Cynic's Guide to Finally Getting What You Want Out of Life," by Karen Salmansohn, and I think both offer interesting perspectives into your outlook on life. What I take away from both of these books is that you essentially determine how your life goes. For instance, if you regularly think negatively, then bad things will regularly happen to you because you are drawn to them because they are familiar. Think of people who complain about all the drama in their lives... Usually, they put themselves in positions that create drama, or they surround themselves with dramatic people.
I think over time, I went from being a hopeless romantic to a cynic to a realist. Tom from (500) Days of Summer totally reminds me of me, lol. I feel that my life experiences have transformed me again and again and I like who I am today. I have become a bit emotionally detached, in a way, but I actually don't think it's a bad thing. I am just not very emotional anymore and it takes me a lot to get upset, cause I've just been through too much to get upset over things that are temporary or don't jeopardize my life as a whole. I am still caring when necessary and good at being empathic (thanks, Stephanie, for teaching me that "empathetic" isn't a real word!) and understanding. Life is a giant pack of lessons and what you take out of it is determined by how open you are to learning those lessons.
Let's face it... I know of about 2 people that had a good year in 2009, and the rest of us were constantly pooped on by the universe. Needless to say, I could not be happier that 2009 is over. I do not know what 2010 will have to offer me, but I look forward to the possibilities and what feels like a fresh start.
The year 2009 was practically traumatizing to me. I lost two family members within a matter of 7 months. I thought this Christmas would be terrible because it was my first Christmas in years that my sister would not be with us. However, my brother moved back to Illinois and lives within half an hour of our hometown, so he was able to come home and bring all his adorable children. A year ago, I was somewhat disconnected from my family, and maybe sometimes even resented them for bringing me down. But with all the tragedy our family has faced in the past year, we have grown closer together. Even if we are sometimes dysfunctional, I have come to accept my family and have learned to love them despite their flaws and downfalls. Surprisingly, it was the best Christmas I've had in a really long time.
I want to stay much more positive this new year and I don't want to take anything for granted. This is my life and I'm living it now; I can't let it slip past me. I have made only a few simple resolutions:1. Pick at LEAST one hobby and actually work on improving my skills (dance, guitar, singing, drawing, whichever...) 2. Allow myself more ME time. 3. Gain better control over my anxiety through the use of meditation and/or yoga at least once a week. 4. Do very little I will regret. 5. GROW. 6. Do what makes ME happy.
