Life is what you make of it. I am fully aware that I haven't had the best luck throughout life, but that doesn't mean I haven't overall had a good life. I have stories for days, and I'm not sure anybody could really call me boring, if they were to classify me as anything. You wouldn't be able to recognize the good without the bad, and I believe you learn more from your bad experiences. You learn strength and perseverance, and often, you learn more about yourself, as long as you are open to the lesson.
I have a couple interesting books currently in my possession: "Only Love is Real" by Brian Weiss, M.D. (thanks, Alice!), and "Enough, Damnit! A Cynic's Guide to Finally Getting What You Want Out of Life," by Karen Salmansohn, and I think both offer interesting perspectives into your outlook on life. What I take away from both of these books is that you essentially determine how your life goes. For instance, if you regularly think negatively, then bad things will regularly happen to you because you are drawn to them because they are familiar. Think of people who complain about all the drama in their lives... Usually, they put themselves in positions that create drama, or they surround themselves with dramatic people.
I think over time, I went from being a hopeless romantic to a cynic to a realist. Tom from (500) Days of Summer totally reminds me of me, lol. I feel that my life experiences have transformed me again and again and I like who I am today. I have become a bit emotionally detached, in a way, but I actually don't think it's a bad thing. I am just not very emotional anymore and it takes me a lot to get upset, cause I've just been through too much to get upset over things that are temporary or don't jeopardize my life as a whole. I am still caring when necessary and good at being empathic (thanks, Stephanie, for teaching me that "empathetic" isn't a real word!) and understanding. Life is a giant pack of lessons and what you take out of it is determined by how open you are to learning those lessons.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Fresh start
Let's face it... I know of about 2 people that had a good year in 2009, and the rest of us were constantly pooped on by the universe. Needless to say, I could not be happier that 2009 is over. I do not know what 2010 will have to offer me, but I look forward to the possibilities and what feels like a fresh start.
The year 2009 was practically traumatizing to me. I lost two family members within a matter of 7 months. I thought this Christmas would be terrible because it was my first Christmas in years that my sister would not be with us. However, my brother moved back to Illinois and lives within half an hour of our hometown, so he was able to come home and bring all his adorable children. A year ago, I was somewhat disconnected from my family, and maybe sometimes even resented them for bringing me down. But with all the tragedy our family has faced in the past year, we have grown closer together. Even if we are sometimes dysfunctional, I have come to accept my family and have learned to love them despite their flaws and downfalls. Surprisingly, it was the best Christmas I've had in a really long time.
I want to stay much more positive this new year and I don't want to take anything for granted. This is my life and I'm living it now; I can't let it slip past me. I have made only a few simple resolutions:
1. Pick at LEAST one hobby and actually work on improving my skills (dance, guitar, singing, drawing, whichever...)
2. Allow myself more ME time.
3. Gain better control over my anxiety through the use of meditation and/or yoga at least once a week.
4. Do very little I will regret.
5. GROW.
6. Do what makes ME happy.
The year 2009 was practically traumatizing to me. I lost two family members within a matter of 7 months. I thought this Christmas would be terrible because it was my first Christmas in years that my sister would not be with us. However, my brother moved back to Illinois and lives within half an hour of our hometown, so he was able to come home and bring all his adorable children. A year ago, I was somewhat disconnected from my family, and maybe sometimes even resented them for bringing me down. But with all the tragedy our family has faced in the past year, we have grown closer together. Even if we are sometimes dysfunctional, I have come to accept my family and have learned to love them despite their flaws and downfalls. Surprisingly, it was the best Christmas I've had in a really long time.
I want to stay much more positive this new year and I don't want to take anything for granted. This is my life and I'm living it now; I can't let it slip past me. I have made only a few simple resolutions:
1. Pick at LEAST one hobby and actually work on improving my skills (dance, guitar, singing, drawing, whichever...)
2. Allow myself more ME time.
3. Gain better control over my anxiety through the use of meditation and/or yoga at least once a week.
4. Do very little I will regret.
5. GROW.
6. Do what makes ME happy.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Adam came first, but men always do
Sexual innuendo implied.
I grew up Lutheran and had the Bible pounded into my head for a majority of my childhood. In high school, I wavered here and there about my beliefs, but I always came back to them. However, in college, I became more interested in politics, and since the November 2004 Presidential election was near the beginning of my freshman year in college, religion was a hot topic. The November 2004 election is actually what influenced me to no longer consider myself a Christian. Why, you ask? Well, there's this concept of separation of church and State that our country does not abide by, and George W. Bush abused that to the fullest.
Don't get me wrong... I do not immediately judge or dislike someone based on their beliefs. However, I do dislike when people misquote the Bible and manipulate the text to use to their advantage. People used to use the Bible as an excuse for slavery. The Bible is constantly used as reference against gay marriage today, and the Bible has always been extremely oppressive to women. Let's not forget all of the violence over religion, coined "crusades."
Keep in mind... the Bible was written by, edited by, and mistranslated by MEN, and typically men in power. Not to mention it was written a couple thousand years ago, and times have changed. King David had a man killed because that man's wife was David's mistress. Though he sinned, I don't think anyone has their doubts about whether he was forgiven and went to heaven. Yet consensual sodomy is still illegal in many places today, and many people think being gay means going to hell. People don't CHOOSE to be gay, and you mean to tell me they are punishable by God for who they are?
I am not really religious anymore... I consider myself Unitarian Universalist, leaning towards Buddhism, but I can't deny I still believe in Jesus. I just don't believe a majority of the Bible. Every religion sounds like a book a fairy tales to me, and most have similar morals to their story. I actually think Jesus was liberal, and he was also a radical, if you really consider his teachings and actions. Anything that Jesus might have frowned upon according to the 2,000 year old Bible might hold a different opinion for Jesus today.
I have always had a couple huge issues with even the beginning of the Bible. The punishment for Original Sin was for all women to experience horrible pain during childbirth and for men to work for a living. Now women do both, and men still don't pop out babies. It is quite upsetting to me. Also, if Noah and his family and his sons' wives were the only survivors of the great flood, how do you explain all the different races in the world? Anytime I ask that, people make up their own logic that has no backup from the Bible.
I grew up Lutheran and had the Bible pounded into my head for a majority of my childhood. In high school, I wavered here and there about my beliefs, but I always came back to them. However, in college, I became more interested in politics, and since the November 2004 Presidential election was near the beginning of my freshman year in college, religion was a hot topic. The November 2004 election is actually what influenced me to no longer consider myself a Christian. Why, you ask? Well, there's this concept of separation of church and State that our country does not abide by, and George W. Bush abused that to the fullest.
Don't get me wrong... I do not immediately judge or dislike someone based on their beliefs. However, I do dislike when people misquote the Bible and manipulate the text to use to their advantage. People used to use the Bible as an excuse for slavery. The Bible is constantly used as reference against gay marriage today, and the Bible has always been extremely oppressive to women. Let's not forget all of the violence over religion, coined "crusades."
Keep in mind... the Bible was written by, edited by, and mistranslated by MEN, and typically men in power. Not to mention it was written a couple thousand years ago, and times have changed. King David had a man killed because that man's wife was David's mistress. Though he sinned, I don't think anyone has their doubts about whether he was forgiven and went to heaven. Yet consensual sodomy is still illegal in many places today, and many people think being gay means going to hell. People don't CHOOSE to be gay, and you mean to tell me they are punishable by God for who they are?
I am not really religious anymore... I consider myself Unitarian Universalist, leaning towards Buddhism, but I can't deny I still believe in Jesus. I just don't believe a majority of the Bible. Every religion sounds like a book a fairy tales to me, and most have similar morals to their story. I actually think Jesus was liberal, and he was also a radical, if you really consider his teachings and actions. Anything that Jesus might have frowned upon according to the 2,000 year old Bible might hold a different opinion for Jesus today.
I have always had a couple huge issues with even the beginning of the Bible. The punishment for Original Sin was for all women to experience horrible pain during childbirth and for men to work for a living. Now women do both, and men still don't pop out babies. It is quite upsetting to me. Also, if Noah and his family and his sons' wives were the only survivors of the great flood, how do you explain all the different races in the world? Anytime I ask that, people make up their own logic that has no backup from the Bible.
Friday, November 13, 2009
What is a Hate Crime?
Let me make something clear... A hate crime is not solely "white man kills black man." A hate crime is defined as: "Any of various crimes (as assault or defacement of property) when motivated by hostility to the victim as a member of a group (as one based on color, creed, gender, or sexual orientation)." There ARE different types of crime, such as hate, passion, premeditated, desperation, etc. So, no, not every crime is hateful (particularly to a whole group of people). When a crime is committed solely because of hate towards a group, it gives a reason for that whole community to fear for their lives and safety. I think we should consider EDUCATING those that commit hate crimes, not just jailing them, but it is sad everyone doesn't understand why this bill is necessary.
This is one great organization that does work towards educating the antagonists of hate crimes:
http://www.southasiannetwork.org/Programs.htm
I will also add, there will ALWAYS be some lack of understanding by those who do not fall within a group that is often stigmatized by main society. IF we didn't have a problem with racism, homophobia, etc., we wouldn't even NEED labels. I give some people credit for gaining a phenomenal understanding of groups they do not necessarily identify with and the issues they face, but FEW people bother to do so, and few people could understand what it is like unless you have personal experience.
This is one great organization that does work towards educating the antagonists of hate crimes:
http://www.southasiannetwork.org/Programs.htm
I will also add, there will ALWAYS be some lack of understanding by those who do not fall within a group that is often stigmatized by main society. IF we didn't have a problem with racism, homophobia, etc., we wouldn't even NEED labels. I give some people credit for gaining a phenomenal understanding of groups they do not necessarily identify with and the issues they face, but FEW people bother to do so, and few people could understand what it is like unless you have personal experience.
Safe Sex 101
I always found it strange that the first question many men ask women before they sleep with them is, "How many men have you had sex with?" See, it's weird, because number of partners isn't entirely reflective of their sexual health. You can have sex with one person only, and contract 3 STIs from that one person. Or, you could have had sex with 20 people, and not have contracted one single disease or infection. The BETTER question would be, "Have you been tested recently?"
Plus, I have known people afraid to get tested because they think they will test positive for something. If you don't know about it, that doesn't mean you magically don't have anything. It is important to get tested in between every partner, or, if you have been cheated on, then sometimes while you're still with the same partner (though I advise you dump them...).
Did you know that they have done studies that show a majority of men don't even know how to put a condom on correctly? Sad, isn't it? There are certain STIs that you aren't necessarily protected from with condom use too, such as HPV. HPV can be contract from the skin around the privates, and sometimes there are no visible signs that someone has it. Unfortunately, it is even more dangerous for women since we can contract cervical cancer.
Anyway, moral of the story is, get tested regularly and be sure that your partner does as well.
Plus, I have known people afraid to get tested because they think they will test positive for something. If you don't know about it, that doesn't mean you magically don't have anything. It is important to get tested in between every partner, or, if you have been cheated on, then sometimes while you're still with the same partner (though I advise you dump them...).
Did you know that they have done studies that show a majority of men don't even know how to put a condom on correctly? Sad, isn't it? There are certain STIs that you aren't necessarily protected from with condom use too, such as HPV. HPV can be contract from the skin around the privates, and sometimes there are no visible signs that someone has it. Unfortunately, it is even more dangerous for women since we can contract cervical cancer.
Anyway, moral of the story is, get tested regularly and be sure that your partner does as well.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Death and Dying
I remember when I was in college, all of my premed friends were taking the class "Death and Dying," and I just thought it sounded dreadful and like the most unpleasant class in the world. However, maybe I could have benefited from a class that teaches you more about loss and the aftermath of losing a loved one.
My sister passed away about 6 months ago, and I am still hurting from that. Now my grandmother is in the hospital with lung cancer, and the outlook isn't great. Maybe I was spoiled with barely experiencing deaths of anyone I knew for too long, but now I am losing two family members within half a year. It's amazing the pain that loss of loved ones leaves behind. I fear that my family will never be the same and will struggle to remain strong through these times, but I hope we can keep it together, cause we have enough dysfunction without the tragedies. In fact, the bigger tragedy might just be the pain left behind.
Lo and behold, I am trying to remain optimistic and hopeful, but sometimes, when it rains, it really f!@#ing pours. Please keep my family in your prayers, if you read this (and if you pray).
My sister passed away about 6 months ago, and I am still hurting from that. Now my grandmother is in the hospital with lung cancer, and the outlook isn't great. Maybe I was spoiled with barely experiencing deaths of anyone I knew for too long, but now I am losing two family members within half a year. It's amazing the pain that loss of loved ones leaves behind. I fear that my family will never be the same and will struggle to remain strong through these times, but I hope we can keep it together, cause we have enough dysfunction without the tragedies. In fact, the bigger tragedy might just be the pain left behind.
Lo and behold, I am trying to remain optimistic and hopeful, but sometimes, when it rains, it really f!@#ing pours. Please keep my family in your prayers, if you read this (and if you pray).
Friday, October 2, 2009
The Sexual Innuendo
You know what I love? When people constantly spew out statements that can be taken in naughty ways.
I went out to dinner with two of my best friends tonight, and I could not stop giggling due to one of my friends repeatedly saying things that could be taken the wrong way. Such as, "Yeah, it hit the spot," in an unintentionally seductive manner. Or, "That salad looks super moist," with the reply, "Yeah, I like it moist." Or, "Let me help you with that..." also in a seductive voice, and helping someone jiggle a takeaway cup in a very awkward push and pull movement. Last, but not least, from the server: "Sorry, I couldn't put the [sour] cream all on one bill, so I had to put it all on yours," with the reply, "It's ok, I'll give more for the tip."
I don't know... somehow the 3 of us were able to take these statements all in the naughtiest way possible. Perverts, or just too many sexual innuendos that we have no choice to think naughty?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Completely random thought: I was challenging my brother on why there is a KFC buffet in Indiana, because unlimited fried chicken sounds like a bad idea. He explained there were other things there, like mac and cheese and COLESLAW, and it was somehow hilarious, because I have never heard someone sound so angry while saying the word COLESLAW. My brother tends to put emphasis on weird words... Therefore, the quote of the day arose, "You know what pisses me off?!?! COLESLAW!!!"
I went out to dinner with two of my best friends tonight, and I could not stop giggling due to one of my friends repeatedly saying things that could be taken the wrong way. Such as, "Yeah, it hit the spot," in an unintentionally seductive manner. Or, "That salad looks super moist," with the reply, "Yeah, I like it moist." Or, "Let me help you with that..." also in a seductive voice, and helping someone jiggle a takeaway cup in a very awkward push and pull movement. Last, but not least, from the server: "Sorry, I couldn't put the [sour] cream all on one bill, so I had to put it all on yours," with the reply, "It's ok, I'll give more for the tip."
I don't know... somehow the 3 of us were able to take these statements all in the naughtiest way possible. Perverts, or just too many sexual innuendos that we have no choice to think naughty?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Completely random thought: I was challenging my brother on why there is a KFC buffet in Indiana, because unlimited fried chicken sounds like a bad idea. He explained there were other things there, like mac and cheese and COLESLAW, and it was somehow hilarious, because I have never heard someone sound so angry while saying the word COLESLAW. My brother tends to put emphasis on weird words... Therefore, the quote of the day arose, "You know what pisses me off?!?! COLESLAW!!!"
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