PRECIOUS

I just finished watching the movie "Precious." Though a very intriguing and sad story, I hate to admit that it did not make me extremely emotional. Sadly, I've read several case files of abused and neglected children that could easily end up in a similar situation and have experienced a similar past. Child abuse and neglect is far too common and often goes unreported or children fall into the system that can't always help them.

No joke, you never know who you can trust. Most children who have been molested have been molested by a family member or someone assumed trustworthy by the family. I am a feminist and wholeheartedly believe in the CHOICE to stay at home OR work for a living, and I DO want to work for a living, but I can easily see myself as a stay at home mom for a few years because I don't trust people. I also intend to teach my kids general concepts about sex as soon as they understand language. Typically in molestation cases, the children sense it is wrong but don't necessarily know how so, and also may assume it must be their fault. Also, the perpetrator often threatens the life of the child and/or their family if they talk. I sure as hell want my kids to know what is NOT okay for anyone to do for them, and God forbid it did happen, they tell me ASAP so I could bring the perpetrator to justice and prevent them from victimizing others.

I did like that the movie reflected the potential for a positive outlook despite a dreary history. I'm glad there is a good and popular movie to raise awareness of the broken homes filled with child abuse and neglect.

This link serves as a great source if you want to learn more:

http://www.darkness2light.org/knowabout/statistics_2.asp

Call Me Irresponsible

I've known for a while that I suck a lot at saving money. I feel that in many respects, I am mature for my age, but nowhere reflects my 24-year old being than my financial assets, or lack thereof. A part of it is because it was not a value really taught in my family, and I'm not sure if anyone in my direct family is that financially responsible (no offense, fam) and was able to set a good example.

I think the second key ingredient to my lack of financial responsibility is that I am so into the here and now, and don't think enough about the future, or the possibility of a rainy day. Perhaps it's because I've always had the morbid mindset that I could die any moment, so while I'm here, I might as well use the money I currently have to buy cute clothes and shoes and go on charming little vacations to other places. It is not a completely unreasonable logic... What if I had $500,000 in savings right now (bwuahaha), but died tomorrow, and had no great traveling experiences to speak of?? That would just suck. I probably need to eventually find a happy medium, cause I do think it IS good to live in the here and now, but it's not great to be inconsiderate of my future self.

It definitely doesn't help that I live in an expensive city, and live by myself in a pricey neighborhood. I am not big into brands when it comes to fashion, but I have fashion ADD and my style is ever-changing, so I feel like my wardrobe needs to as well. I have this horrible food and Yelp addiction that leads me to want to try every restaurant, and eating out often gets expensive!!! I like STUFF, and I like EVENTS, and I like FRIENDS, so I go out more often now as well.

Hopefully I will financially grow up very soon. Don't bother to give me advice... I have a Mint.com account; I just don't use it. I keep track of my bank account... But hey, at least I pay my rent and bills on time, I have good credit (just no savings), and I RECOGNIZE I have a problem. That's the first step, right???

The Quantum Physics of Coolness

Life is what you make of it. I am fully aware that I haven't had the best luck throughout life, but that doesn't mean I haven't overall had a good life. I have stories for days, and I'm not sure anybody could really call me boring, if they were to classify me as anything. You wouldn't be able to recognize the good without the bad, and I believe you learn more from your bad experiences. You learn strength and perseverance, and often, you learn more about yourself, as long as you are open to the lesson.

I have a couple interesting books currently in my possession: "Only Love is Real" by Brian Weiss, M.D. (thanks, Alice!), and "Enough, Damnit! A Cynic's Guide to Finally Getting What You Want Out of Life," by Karen Salmansohn, and I think both offer interesting perspectives into your outlook on life. What I take away from both of these books is that you essentially determine how your life goes. For instance, if you regularly think negatively, then bad things will regularly happen to you because you are drawn to them because they are familiar. Think of people who complain about all the drama in their lives... Usually, they put themselves in positions that create drama, or they surround themselves with dramatic people.

I think over time, I went from being a hopeless romantic to a cynic to a realist. Tom from (500) Days of Summer totally reminds me of me, lol. I feel that my life experiences have transformed me again and again and I like who I am today. I have become a bit emotionally detached, in a way, but I actually don't think it's a bad thing. I am just not very emotional anymore and it takes me a lot to get upset, cause I've just been through too much to get upset over things that are temporary or don't jeopardize my life as a whole. I am still caring when necessary and good at being empathic (thanks, Stephanie, for teaching me that "empathetic" isn't a real word!) and understanding. Life is a giant pack of lessons and what you take out of it is determined by how open you are to learning those lessons.

Fresh start

Let's face it... I know of about 2 people that had a good year in 2009, and the rest of us were constantly pooped on by the universe. Needless to say, I could not be happier that 2009 is over. I do not know what 2010 will have to offer me, but I look forward to the possibilities and what feels like a fresh start.

The year 2009 was practically traumatizing to me. I lost two family members within a matter of 7 months. I thought this Christmas would be terrible because it was my first Christmas in years that my sister would not be with us. However, my brother moved back to Illinois and lives within half an hour of our hometown, so he was able to come home and bring all his adorable children. A year ago, I was somewhat disconnected from my family, and maybe sometimes even resented them for bringing me down. But with all the tragedy our family has faced in the past year, we have grown closer together. Even if we are sometimes dysfunctional, I have come to accept my family and have learned to love them despite their flaws and downfalls. Surprisingly, it was the best Christmas I've had in a really long time.

I want to stay much more positive this new year and I don't want to take anything for granted. This is my life and I'm living it now; I can't let it slip past me. I have made only a few simple resolutions:

1. Pick at LEAST one hobby and actually work on improving my skills (dance, guitar, singing, drawing, whichever...)
2. Allow myself more ME time.
3. Gain better control over my anxiety through the use of meditation and/or yoga at least once a week.
4. Do very little I will regret.
5. GROW.
6. Do what makes ME happy.

Adam came first, but men always do

Sexual innuendo implied.


I grew up Lutheran and had the Bible pounded into my head for a majority of my childhood. In high school, I wavered here and there about my beliefs, but I always came back to them. However, in college, I became more interested in politics, and since the November 2004 Presidential election was near the beginning of my freshman year in college, religion was a hot topic. The November 2004 election is actually what influenced me to no longer consider myself a Christian. Why, you ask? Well, there's this concept of separation of church and State that our country does not abide by, and George W. Bush abused that to the fullest.

Don't get me wrong... I do not immediately judge or dislike someone based on their beliefs. However, I do dislike when people misquote the Bible and manipulate the text to use to their advantage. People used to use the Bible as an excuse for slavery. The Bible is constantly used as reference against gay marriage today, and the Bible has always been extremely oppressive to women. Let's not forget all of the violence over religion, coined "crusades."

Keep in mind... the Bible was written by, edited by, and mistranslated by MEN, and typically men in power. Not to mention it was written a couple thousand years ago, and times have changed. King David had a man killed because that man's wife was David's mistress. Though he sinned, I don't think anyone has their doubts about whether he was forgiven and went to heaven. Yet consensual sodomy is still illegal in many places today, and many people think being gay means going to hell. People don't CHOOSE to be gay, and you mean to tell me they are punishable by God for who they are?

I am not really religious anymore... I consider myself Unitarian Universalist, leaning towards Buddhism, but I can't deny I still believe in Jesus. I just don't believe a majority of the Bible. Every religion sounds like a book a fairy tales to me, and most have similar morals to their story. I actually think Jesus was liberal, and he was also a radical, if you really consider his teachings and actions. Anything that Jesus might have frowned upon according to the 2,000 year old Bible might hold a different opinion for Jesus today.

I have always had a couple huge issues with even the beginning of the Bible. The punishment for Original Sin was for all women to experience horrible pain during childbirth and for men to work for a living. Now women do both, and men still don't pop out babies. It is quite upsetting to me. Also, if Noah and his family and his sons' wives were the only survivors of the great flood, how do you explain all the different races in the world? Anytime I ask that, people make up their own logic that has no backup from the Bible.

What is a Hate Crime?

Let me make something clear... A hate crime is not solely "white man kills black man." A hate crime is defined as: "Any of various crimes (as assault or defacement of property) when motivated by hostility to the victim as a member of a group (as one based on color, creed, gender, or sexual orientation)." There ARE different types of crime, such as hate, passion, premeditated, desperation, etc. So, no, not every crime is hateful (particularly to a whole group of people). When a crime is committed solely because of hate towards a group, it gives a reason for that whole community to fear for their lives and safety. I think we should consider EDUCATING those that commit hate crimes, not just jailing them, but it is sad everyone doesn't understand why this bill is necessary.

This is one great organization that does work towards educating the antagonists of hate crimes:
http://www.southasiannetwork.org/Programs.htm

I will also add, there will ALWAYS be some lack of understanding by those who do not fall within a group that is often stigmatized by main society. IF we didn't have a problem with racism, homophobia, etc., we wouldn't even NEED labels. I give some people credit for gaining a phenomenal understanding of groups they do not necessarily identify with and the issues they face, but FEW people bother to do so, and few people could understand what it is like unless you have personal experience.

Safe Sex 101

I always found it strange that the first question many men ask women before they sleep with them is, "How many men have you had sex with?" See, it's weird, because number of partners isn't entirely reflective of their sexual health. You can have sex with one person only, and contract 3 STIs from that one person. Or, you could have had sex with 20 people, and not have contracted one single disease or infection. The BETTER question would be, "Have you been tested recently?"

Plus, I have known people afraid to get tested because they think they will test positive for something. If you don't know about it, that doesn't mean you magically don't have anything. It is important to get tested in between every partner, or, if you have been cheated on, then sometimes while you're still with the same partner (though I advise you dump them...).

Did you know that they have done studies that show a majority of men don't even know how to put a condom on correctly? Sad, isn't it? There are certain STIs that you aren't necessarily protected from with condom use too, such as HPV. HPV can be contract from the skin around the privates, and sometimes there are no visible signs that someone has it. Unfortunately, it is even more dangerous for women since we can contract cervical cancer.

Anyway, moral of the story is, get tested regularly and be sure that your partner does as well.